Me.

Socially awkward and physically awkward, that’s me. I was taunted daily in school. No one would have given me a second thought or a second glance in school. Well, probably a second glance at my awesomnessfullness. I was an outcast and every day, I would walk a good 30 minutes, instead of taking a bus to get home from school, just to find a time to cry. Back home, I have to dry up all my tears because tears are a sign of weakness. And I have far too many weaknesses compared to others in the family. I don’t have the brains; neither do I have the looks of this relative or that. Going to school was a torture, being home is torture.

Inside of me, was bitterness and anger at the people who taunt me. Inside of me, was also a longing for appreciation and wishing I am of worth to somebody.

I came to CHC in 2005. I heard about this church before I stepped into it. I heard about Sun, the pastor’s wife. Everyone in my school seems to speak nothing but ill of this person. That’s the last thing I need, to be even more socially awkward. But I went, and I stayed.

No one is perfect there. But I stayed because when no one accepted me for who I am, they did. I came in broken and hurt but it didn’t matter to them. They are the first channels of God’s love and guidance in my life. Through them, I came to know God. And today, my relationship with my family is reconciled and closer than ever. I’m serving God as a cellgroup leader in church too. Who could have imagined that? Not me.

I thank God for CHC and my pastors. They dedicate their lives for God and people like me. They touched my life and lead me to find the purpose and destiny that God has called me to. Sun, especially, inspired me to live a life bigger than myself, loving and helping others. They are not perfect; they could have made a mistake or an error of judgment. I don’t know, we don’t know, for now. But one thing I know and believe- their intention and their purpose was never for their own personal gain.

Critics may say we are blind and stupid, they think that we are defensive and trying to justify ourselves and our stand. People believe what they want to believe. Can I just say that, critics too, are as ‘blind and stupid’ as us. Critics, too, are defensive, except to a different cause or belief. In the end, we are all alike, just trying to defend what we believe in.

What for?

For you are the light of the world. Do all things for the glory of God, not for the glory of man. Do everything expecting nothing in return. You are an example of a godly person. Don't allow pride to get in the way. God will reward you in the end.

Yes, Jo.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Love/hate

With love, you will have hate. And hate becomes, because the love is not what you expected.
Hate becomes, because the love was dismissive.
Hate is a feeling of rejection and betrayal because the love hurt you and it is not what you expected from love.
Without love, there will be no hate.

BUT I chose to love.....and honor.
God pls empower me to continue to love.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Disturbed

I am extremely disturbed. Extremely. Not sure what am I really feeling. Anger? Disappointment? Saddness?
I think this whole incident is really nothing but a case of misrepresentation, gossips and murmuring.
Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue. Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut. The book of proverbs is so full of these.
Perhaps we should start reminding ourselves to just talk lesser.
  • Current Mood
    frustrated frustrated
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Welcome back me!

Been eons ago since i journal-ed. Probably the first post ever since Vaio crashed and I'm typing out of my new lappie Dell. Bought it at the recent IT fair. Mad crowd. Even madder time trying to get home.

Anyway. I'm here, because I want to shop.  So much tempations!!!! But I just spent nearly $300 on a visit to a vet and stuffs for the dog. She sprained her leg. April's an exceptionally difficult patient.

Had to carry her around on a towel, or she'll bite which she did many times. Now the above has turn into some ugly purple pocked bruise.

Oh well, hope this month will have work bonus. Pay please come in sooner! I wanna shop!