Joanna

I wish Iggy could be with me right now.....

It seemed like a punch. All winded up inside, me. Heart's thumping. The tears are stuck in my nose. Can't seems to flow out. Yet all I feel like doing now, is to throw myself onto the floor and wail. After everything, after everything, it feels like a dead end?

My dreams, my fears, do you want to know them? Do you even bother? I'm so afraid inside of me and yet, you didn't seem to want to know....

When he's away, who can I look for...you being so, you..

oh dear me, oh dear me. I miss my smelly Patrick. Weekends always gone so fast.

Had fun choosing guppies and letting April run freely in the dog run and swim in the pool. She never had so much fun, it's just a joy to watch her alone. Being sniff in the butt by dogs so tall and swimming among many golden retrievers and a siberian husky, looking so tiny. Just cycling to and fro like that makes us sunburn. And all too soon its 9pm and time to book in. Oh boring.....

Its only beginning Tuesday....long days ahead yet!

I watched the routine and I cried today. It's a feeling of bitter-sweet love, mixed with sadness and much aching. I never did another routine with any other that made me cried. The love has never fade.

I miss .... Rexaz.... alot.

Oh man! This week cant end sooner! Am so tired! Handling 10 kids by myself is no easy feat. Nearly wanna burst into the supervisor's office and yell, 'so how about i take MC tomorrow too huh!!??' Like serious. Form teacher went on TWO 2-days MC this week, I practically wrestled the kids by myself. Argh! Place is so ill-equip too. Pathetic! Dun even have enough table space for 10 toddlers still wanna increase to 11 kids by November. I can't imagine the horror of it. Just pissed me off so bad. In a freaking bad mood the whole day. Dun even have time to close my eyes for FIVE minutes. Got chance to sleep dun sleep wanna wake up and cry and wake the rest of the class up i buzz around rushing from one kid to another patting them back to sleep and try to shut the other kid up! *takes deep breathe* Okay, rant finish.

No no, no pictures in this post. i was just thinking its been very long since I took pictures you know, ya, camwhore. Goodness. Ah dear, where is my interesting life now??? I need more excitement.

I get all queasy thinking about SOT next year. I feel worst thinking about building fund. But God, I cant let You go, you know. I can't imagine a life without You. It may be difficult, difficult and tough but You are always good and real. Just can't live without You! I love You alot alot alot! God, let me yield to You...